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The Psychology of Reading People
How to read body language? If verbal communication is not enough and you suspect other people may have malevolent intentions towards you, you should acquire a new skill – reading people is not an exact science but it might give you the answers you have been looking for to move up the career ladder and succeed in romantic relationships.
Let us take a look at how to read people successfully and be aware of how the other person feels without telling you about their real opinion whether you plan to implement your skills in a workplace or in your personal interactions.
Key Elements of Reading People
Figure out how to decipher another person’s body language and facial expressions to know if your employer plans to promote you, if your friend is describing a certain event without embellishing it or glossing over the details you would rather know, or if your partner lies to you.
Create a Baseline
In order to know the person is acting weird or suspicious, you have to know what their normal behavior looks like. It is hard to analyze the behavioral patterns and quirks based on a single interaction which is why it is smart to spend time with the individual, pay close attention to their usual mannerisms, and take a mental note when a particular body movement or facial expression seems off.
Look for Body Language Consistency
To read people like a book, you need to look at the whole picture. For instance, when a person is extremely happy, it will be evident because their eyes are shining, their smile is wide, they are clapping, and even jumping for joy. However, when the body is stiff, the eyes are dull, and the individual can only force themselves to smile, it indicates their emotion is either fake or they are bothered with something else to truly express their excitement.
Look at Their Posture
Posture is one of the key elements in the people reading process – it can tell you a lot about the attitude of the individual in front of you. For example, if a person has something to hide or they are ashamed of something, they may sit with a hunched back, lowered head, and crossed arms as a defensive gesture. Putting hands on the hips, on the other hand, may be an attempt to intimidate you and show you the person you are talking to is in control and ready to dismiss your statements and claims.
Watch for Mirroring
Mirroring is often innocent – when someone smiles at you, it is a natural reaction to imitate this facial expression and smile back. It may affect the person’s tone of voice or body movements, so when the other person is not willing to reciprocate, it often means they are not willing to share your joy or sadness for some reason. Successfully mirroring another individual is a great technique that can increase attraction and build rapport which is why you should learn how to synchronize with the nonverbal cues of other people.
Keep an Ear Out for Their Choice of Words
Words can convey sympathy, indifference, or malice – be on the lookout for particular words and expressions that should tell how the person really feels about the situation. For example, if you and your boss are talking about taking accountability for a workplace incident that someone else is at fault for yet they keep using the word “we” and bringing up the interests of the company, it may suggest there will be no personal liability for the error that led to the accident.
Look at Their Breathing
Breathing rate is a strong indicator of a person’s emotions – if someone breathes slowly, they are relaxed and not bothered by the topic you are discussing while quick breathing might imply the individual is anxious or agitated. Breathing will affect how a person talks and feels – when someone is under pressure and they are breathing heavily, they will ask you to go out to discuss an issue or open a window to get some fresh air and recharge. Additionally, if the breathing pattern seems too calculated and precise, it is possible to suspect the individual is trying to hide their true emotions.
Common Mistakes When Reading People
Reading body language is hard even for trained professionals like police officers and mental health professionals, whose job is to figure out what the person actually thinks. Here is a brief overview of errors you may make when judging someone on their facial expressions or body movements:
| Mistake | Description |
| Misinterpretation of Emotions | Someone’s smile or laugh does not necessarily mean they are happy or pleased with what you just said – it is often a defence mechanism especially for vulnerable individuals who feel forced to react this way to avoid confrontation |
| Lack of Context | You may believe that a person’s eye twitching or leg shaking indicates they are lying to you while they are simply tired and sleepy – make sure you take all the information into account |
| Disregarding the Words | The main error is to ignore what you have been told in favor of a gesture or facial expression – do not neglect the words that come out of the person’s mouth because you are too focused on the way they are saying them |
Practical Tips for Improving Your Ability to Read People
Whether you need it for your professional growth or you want to recognize when a partner or friend is genuine with you, there are ways to get better at reading people:
| Advice | Description |
| Be Conscious of Your Biases | When you start a conversation with a person you dislike, you may be inclined to distrust them automatically despite them telling the truth – you will look for the smallest inconsistencies in their behavior that will prove you are right. Get rid of your prejudice and be more open-minded no matter who you are talking to |
| Become a Better Listener | Hone your listening abilities to improve your communication in general and to be welcoming enough for the other person to feel safe in your presence – when they are relaxed, it is easier to read between the lines |
| Keep Practicing | While talking to your family and friends and daring each other to see if one of you is lying is a fun activity, your options may be limited here. However, you can watch videos of famous people who insisted they were telling the truth yet were later caught in a lie and see if you notice any nonverbal cues in their behaviors |
When to Seek Professional Guidance
If you have had issues with reading people in the past, you want to work on your perception skills that have deteriorated due to social isolation or trauma, or you have been focusing too much on small cues instead of facts, you should seek professional therapeutic guidance. Treat Mental Health specialists are ready to help you become more self-aware and aware of feelings and intentions of others to ensure your communication is always clear and authentic – reach out to us today, and we can discuss therapy options available for you.
FAQ
How do you mentally read someone?
Look at the way the individual in question positions their body, moves their eyes, and gestures – they may sound confident but their body language might tell a different story. You should also pay close attention to the volume of their voice – sometimes, a person may be unusually loud to get their point across at any cost.
How to read a person’s personality?
Knowing the background of a particular individual helps whether you are trying to understand who they are in a professional sense or getting to know them better as a potential partner or a friend. Ask them open-ended questions, see how they talk to you and compare it with their conversations with other people, and take your time to figure out who they are instead of basing your opinion on a brief meeting.
Why do I struggle to read people?
No one is born with a gift of reading a person’s mind although some people may be more perceptive than others thanks to their life experiences. If you devote yourself to the art of reading people and learn from the mistakes you and others made, you will struggle less as time goes by.
How to psychologically analyze someone?
Observe the person in various scenarios and moods, consider the context of their emotions instead of relying on false beliefs, see how the individual responds to stress and pressure, and learn to trust your gut when something feels off.
How to read people’s energy?
It is possible to understand how the other person feels about you and the environment you are in together. Look into their eyes – dilated pupils may suggest fear or excitement, analyze their handshake – a limp one might tell you an individual is not too happy to be there, and listen to their laugh – an obnoxious and loud one can indicate anger.
