What Is Avoidant Attachment and How It Shapes Emotional Distance in Relationships

Understanding the nuances of human behavior and interpersonal dynamics can be challenging. One of the main ways to improve communication skills and build better relationships is to learn about different attachment styles. In our guide, we will answer the question “What is avoidant attachment?”, go over the symptoms of avoidant attachment, and offer a few strategies you can implement to deal with this attachment style.

Learning more about avoidant attachment will be beneficial both for the individuals who have this attachment style and those who build personal and professional relationships with them—whether you are a parent, a romantic partner, or a colleague, this knowledge will give you valuable insights to navigate your interactions with a person who has avoidant attachment.

Table of Contents

• Understanding Avoidant Attachment
• Signs and Symptoms of Avoidant Attachment
• Impact of Avoidant Attachment on Relationships
• How to Cope With Avoidant Attachment
• Treatment Options for Avoidant Attachment
• Frequently Asked Questions
• Embrace Support for Avoidant Attachment

Understanding Avoidant Attachment

Avoidant attachment is a part of the attachment theory first developed in the late 60s by John Bowlby. This theory states that the behavior of an individual, including the way they build and perceive relationships in their life, is influenced by their attachment style, which, in turn, is determined by the bond they had with their primary caregiver.

Also known as dismissive avoidant attachment, avoidant attachment is characterized by the inability or unwillingness of the person to rely on others and open up to them. A person with this attachment style will prioritize their independence and avoid getting too close to other people—this behavior may be formed in childhood if the caregiver of the child was not present or supportive enough.

Signs and Symptoms of Avoidant Attachment

How can you tell that you or someone you know has an avoidant attachment style? Here are the main symptoms of avoidant attachment to look out for:

● The person does not share their thoughts and feelings. It is common for an avoidant individual to keep their
emotions to themselves and refuse to be vulnerable in front of other people.

● The person values their independence. If someone is used to relying only on themselves and feels uncomfortable asking other people for help, they may have an avoidant attachment style.

● The person avoids physical closeness. Whether the individual in question refuses to participate in team sports or activities and stands away from the group of people they are talking to, this may be a sign of avoidant attachment.

● The person has low self-esteem. Sometimes, people choose to stay away from others, not because they are
uncomfortable with externalizing their feelings, but due to poor self-worth that prevents them from building
connections.

Impact of Avoidant Attachment on Relationships

It may be challenging to build and maintain relationships with avoidant individuals. Here are several ways in which avoidant attachment may negatively affect a relationship:

● There is no emotional connection. When one of the parties is incapable of opening up and sharing their feelings, the people involved in the relationship may feel distant from one another.

● There are communication issues. Avoidant people usually prefer to keep their thoughts to themselves—this may lead to misunderstandings, especially if the person starts giving the silent treatment to their partner.

● There are no personal boundaries. While it is normal to be close to your partner, in a healthy relationship, both parties should have their own personal space. An avoidant individual may feel suffocated when their partner is always around.

How to Cope With Avoidant Attachment

Whether you have determined you have an avoidant attachment style or you suspect someone close to you is avoidant, there are a few strategies you can implement to deal with this issue:

● Talk to your partner. It is crucial to let the person you are building a relationship with know about your
attachment style—this way, you can both figure out how to adjust your behavior and be more understanding of one another.

● Write down your feelings. If you are not comfortable opening up in front of other people, you can start with
Journaling—articulate your emotions on paper to get to the bottom of your feelings.

● Spend time on self-care. While it is important to be there for your friends and dedicate time to your family and work, make sure you prioritize your own needs—eat healthy food, exercise, and have hobbies that make you happy.

Treatment Options for Avoidant Attachment

There are different ways to address avoidant attachment and get help for yourself or a person you care about:

● Reach out to a mental health professional. A therapist will be able to diagnose your attachment style and give you personalized advice based on your unique circumstances.

● Participate in therapy sessions. It is a good idea to attend therapy together with your partner—this will allow both of you to talk to a counselor and figure out how to manage avoidant attachment.

● Join a support group. You are not alone—many people have avoidant attachment styles. You may benefit from listening to the experiences of other individuals with the same problem and sharing your own story in front of empathetic listeners.

FAQs

Embrace Support for Avoidant Attachment

We hope that our guide has helped you learn what avoidant attachment is and understand the importance of this attachment style for a person’s life. Avoidant attachment may pose a challenge or two, yet you can overcome this issue either on your own or with the assistance of a mental health professional.
When you or a person close to you has an avoidant attachment style, it is essential to be patient and address the symptoms you have noticed and make changes to your behavior to accommodate this mindset. In the long run, implementing the strategies described above will help you build strong relationships with