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Spending time with a narcissist occasionally is not a big deal but it may be a serious problem if you are friends with a narcissist or in love with one. Can a narcissist change? And what can be done to help them?
In this guide, we will analyze the interior world of a narcissist and learn whether it is possible to overcome the most challenging and impairing traits that characterize the behavior of the narcissistic individual.
Understanding Narcissism
Narcissism refers to a specific personality trait characterized by a lack of empathy, a strong need to be admired, arrogance, a desire for attention, and fragile self-esteem. Narcissism is a spectrum – anyone can exhibit certain narcissistic features and also be perceived as a narcissist especially when it comes to high self-esteem that may not be to the liking of others. Still, there is a difference between self-confidence and narcissism – the latter stems from a desire for superiority, an inability to be empathetic, and a need for validation.
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Defining Narcissism and Its Traits
There are character traits that are inherent in every narcissist – once you understand what each one of them means, you can get closer to the understanding of the individual as a whole and keep your distance from them when necessary:
- Self-importance. It is quite normal to be proud of yourself and your accomplishments but narcissists take it to the next level and exhibit a sense of grandiosity.
- Lack of empathy. It is virtually impossible for a narcissist to identify others’ feelings and put themselves in others’ shoes.
- Need for praise. A narcissist constantly requires validation and attention.
- Sense of entitlement. A narcissist will believe they deserve special treatment.
- Exploitation of others. It is easy for a narcissist to take advantage of another individual if their personal and professional aspirations are at stake.
- Arrogance. This trait results in condescending behavior, dismissal of valid criticism, and a superior self-image.
- Envy. Narcissists typically resent other people for their strengths and successes which frequently leads to sabotage and outright hostility.
The Duality of Narcissism: Good vs. Harmful Behavior
Narcissism is multi-faceted – there can be positive and negative traits that define the individual and affect others around them. Avoid black-and-white thinking and learn to recognize all the characteristics of a narcissist:
| Good Traits | Bad Traits |
| Narcissists are emotionally resilient – they can be mentally tough and successfully deal with depression and stress. | Narcissists lack empathy – it is difficult for them to understand others’ points of view which often leads to conflict and exploitation. |
| Narcissists are ambitious – they stop at nothing when it comes to accomplishments and success. | Narcissists have an inflated sense of self-importance – their arrogance makes them think they deserve special treatment. |
| Narcissists are prepared to lead – their charisma allows them to make a positive first impression and achieve their goals. | Narcissists are aggressive – they are not above an argument which can manifest as self-destructive behavior and manipulation. |
| Narcissists are confident – they will stand up for their beliefs and even help others along the way. | Narcissists suffer from envy – it stems from the feelings of inadequacy and makes them resent and sabotage other people. |
Love and Empathy in Narcissists
It is common for a narcissist to struggle with true love and genuine empathy – they learn rather early in life that they can mimic the behavior of other people and get the same results others get. While a narcissist can appear charming and loving, it is important to distinguish authentic emotional vulnerability from a transactional relationship if you want to maintain a close bond with a person like that.
Can a Narcissist Exhibit Genuine Love and Compassion?
The truth is, most feelings a narcissist exhibits are not deep and genuine – in the majority of instances, it is just an act that serves a specific purpose whether it is driven by their ego, desire to control other people, or a need to be supported and validated at any cost. There is a core lack of emotional empathy and an inability to value others’ perspectives which can be challenging to overcome.
Understanding Empathy and Emotional Connections
Can a narcissist change to repair their bonds with other people? There are effective techniques that can help a narcissist understand other people better:
- Be gentle to yourself. One could argue that narcissists have too much self-kindness but if your narcissism makes you treat yourself with contempt, you can accept your flaws before learning how to be more tolerant towards others.
- Observe and mimic. Talk to other people and practice your responses to navigate social situations with ease – when you can rehearse your reactions, you can act more natural and empathetic.
- Find motivation. Narcissists need to be motivated to pursue a certain goal – once they see that their empathy can be an advantage whether they need to avoid a breakup or earn a promotion, they tend to make an effort.
Pathways to Change and Healing
A person with narcissistic tendencies can adjust their behavior and put an end to a toxic cycle of arrogance and envy they are stuck in – acknowledge your errors, identify the triggers that make you feel superior for no apparent reason, shift from external validation to internal self-worth, and learn to respect others’ boundaries.
The Possibility of Healing and Personal Growth
Can a narcissist change their ways? That can be tough – usually, narcissists stay away from self-introspection, opt to see reality in their own special way, project negative feelings and thoughts onto people that surround them, and perceive themselves as perfect individuals. Unless a narcissist is willing to heal with the help of a therapist, it is difficult to see them changing in the future.
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Therapeutic Interventions for Narcissistic Behavior
Can a narcissist be cured? While it is hard to count on healing in a traditional sense, there are therapy modalities that can be rather useful for a person diagnosed with a narcissistic personality disorder:
| Therapeutic Approach | Description |
| Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) | CBT is supposed to target cognitive distortions of a narcissist – it will show them what triggers their perfectionism and sense of entitlement for better self-awareness and realistic self-confidence. |
| Group Therapy | A group therapy session can become a safe place for a narcissist who feels misunderstood and isolated elsewhere – learn empathy step-by-step, understand personal boundaries, and develop compassion for your peers. |
| Family Therapy | Family counseling – including therapy that is supposed to help married couples and partners – will improve your communication with the narcissist, educate you on the nuances of their condition, and let you establish new boundaries. |
Personalized Support for Narcissistic Behavior at Treat Mental Health
No matter how long you have spent in a relationship with a narcissist or were subjected to narcissistic abuse as their family member or friend, you can heal, rebuild your sense of self, and create a fulfilling life you deserve. If you suspect you have a narcissistic personality disorder, a therapist can help you combat your narcissistic tendencies.
Reach out to Treat Mental Health now – we can help you begin a journey of self-discovery, process your trauma, and develop healthy coping strategies.
FAQs
Can a narcissist truly change and become a better person?
A genuine change can happen – confront your toxic behaviors, value others’ points of view, and put daily effort into adjusting your instincts and habits.
Is it possible for a narcissist to be cured, and what does that entail?
If you were diagnosed with a narcissistic personality disorder, there is no cure in the conventional sense but you can manage your emotions and behaviors with regular counseling.
Can a narcissist genuinely love someone as deeply as they are able to?
Reciprocity in a relationship with a narcissist can be achieved but only if they are ready to develop real empathy, manage their authentic reactions, build healthy habits, and seek therapy to further improve themselves.
In what ways can a narcissist be a good person, despite their tendencies?
It is possible for a narcissist to excel in life with the help of their positive character traits – their high ambition, self-efficacy, strong self-image, and charisma can make them a source of inspiration, an innovator, and a leader as long as they channel their energy towards good.
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Are there effective therapeutic interventions that can help a narcissist change?
Cognitive restructuring, psychodynamic therapy that identifies unconscious motivations, and family therapy that fosters genuine connection can help a narcissist become a better person.
